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Picture of The Church of Almighty God | Almighty God’s Word Conquered My Hardened Heart |
Almighty God’s Word Conquered My Hardened Heart
Fan Ni
Rizhao City, Shandong Province
In
autumn of 2001, I went back home for the National Day holiday. Before
I arrived at home, I heard from a classmate that now there was a very
powerful “heresy” called the “Eastern Lightning,” and my
mother had been “deceived” by it for seven months. At the news, I
was overwhelmed with anxiety, and I hurried to my uncle’s home (who
was a preacher I adored). Before I asked anything about my mother, he
said to me, “Your mother has accepted the ‘Eastern Lightning,’
and she runs around outside all day long. She went to the brothers’
and sisters’ homes to preach the gospel and even didn’t leave
when they drove her. She has really disgraced me. Brothers and
sisters in the church all came to ask me what to do with her, and I
said to them that I didn’t acknowledge her as my sister anymore,
she had been expelled by the church, and they could just drive her
away. I heard that those people had discarded the Bible but read a
so-called little scroll. That book is very powerful. Once you read
it, you will be captivated. Do be careful, Xiao-ni. You must stand
the ground. Though she is your mother, this is about belief. That
doesn’t count…” Every word of my uncle pierced my heart, and I
couldn’t help feeling nervous. “So it is true that the ‘Eastern
Lightning’ is a heresy! Otherwise, how could my uncle speak about
my mother in that way? How could my mother become like this now? Is
it really true that she refused to leave others’ homes even when
they drove her? …” I was sad and frightened. How I hoped that my
uncle could draw her back! But from his words, I could know that my
mother was already “irredeemable.” At that time, I just wanted to
go home quickly to see my mother.
Actually, she had already returned to Your bosom, but I resisted You
and offended You! O Almighty God! I thank You that although I have
been so disobedient and detestable, You have tolerated me and taken
me back to Your home. Now, I won’t escape nor struggle. I only want
to quiet my heart before You to enjoy Your words and seek to know
You!”
The
way to home wasn’t far, but I felt that it took me a long time. On
the way, my mind was in turmoil. I didn’t know how to face my
mother and what I should do to recover her. However, after I got
home, my mother showed great care for me as usual, and I couldn’t
find anything abnormal about her. Watching her familiar figure, I
thought of my uncle’s words. A fit of sadness seized me. I thought,
“My father passed away not long before, and my elder sister got
married. Only my mother and I were left relying on each other for
life. But now, I have to draw a clear line between us for the Lord’s
sake. And I have to guard against her lest I be deceived by her. She
has been rejected by the brothers and sisters, and the Lord has also
deserted her. Now, even her dearest daughter will keep away from her
and guard against her…” As I thought of this, my tears gushed
out. I called on the Lord in my heart, “O Lord! What is all this
about? Why does such a thing happen to me? What should I do, Lord?”
I
observed that my mother indeed stopped reading the Bible, so I argued
with her many times, in the hope of persuading her back. But she
insisted that the way she took was right, and she even tried to
persuade me to accept Almighty God. My efforts proved fruitless. As I
was sure that she had indeed gone astray, I prayed in the name of the
Lord Jesus, asking the Lord to drive the “demon” in my home away.
And I also racked my brains for a way to prevent my mother from
reading that book. I thought, “If I burn the book, she can’t read
it.” But several times when I wanted to burn it, I felt uneasy in
my heart. So I failed to do it.
Soon,
the holiday was over, and I had to leave home. But I still felt
worried about my mother. So I said to my elder sister again and
again, “Keep a good watch over Mum. If there is anything wrong with
her, do give me a call.” However, my sister said, “Don’t think
strange thoughts. I think our Mum is very normal, but the people in
your church are abnormal. They abused others, beat others, and threw
urine over others. I think they are even worse than the unbelievers.”
I didn’t expect that my unbelieving sister could say such words. I
had nothing more to say. So, with great worry in my heart, I went
back to Beijing. But whenever I thought of what my uncle said about
my mother, I felt very distressed. I had never expected that my
mother, who had always been so stubborn and proud and never tolerated
others’ disrespect for her, could bow to others! “Mum, how could
you become like this? Why are you so silly? What force makes you do
this? I really don’t understand!” How eagerly I hoped that my
mother could “wake up.” I cried to the Lord, “O Lord! Where are
You? Please save my mother! …” I prayed like that almost every
day, and I hoped that I could go back home earlier to bring my mother
back to the Lord.
Finally,
in early August of 2002, I had an opportunity to go home. But after I
arrived home, I learned that three aunts of mine and my cousin had
all believed in Almighty God. I was stunned! It never occurred to me
that within less than one year, there was such a big change. What
troubled me more was that after knowing that I had come back, they
came to preach to me every day. I thought, “You have no discernment
and can’t stand the ground. I’m not like you.” So, no matter
what they said, I refused to accept it. My mother got very worried
about it. So, whenever she had time, she tried to persuade me to read
that book. Later, I thought, “Right. If I don’t know what’s
written in that book, how could I bring them back to the Lord? They
are ‘captivated’ because of reading the book. What is there in
the book that makes them so obsessed?” With that thought, I went to
my uncle and discussed with him. However, he opposed it strongly. He
said that reading that book was testing God. Hearing his words, I
dared not read it. And I prayed for the Lord to strengthen my faith,
so that I could stand and not be swayed by the “heresy.” Seeing
that my heart was so hardened, my mother said to me, “My child,
please read the book. Otherwise you will regret it! God has revealed
all the mysteries and made clear all the truths to man. You will be
clear after you read it.” “No, I won’t regret. I believe that
the Lord Jesus won’t desert me.” I said determinedly. My mother
cried, saying, “I am your mother. I won’t harm you. I have never
begged you for anything before. But today I beg you. My dear girl,
read it! This is indeed God’s word. If you don’t read it, how
could you know whether it’s true or false? If you don’t read it
now, it will be too late for you to regret when the fact is
revealed…” My mother’s heartfelt words cut me like a whip. I
began to struggle in my heart. “If Mum’s words are true, will I
really not regret it then?” But I again remembered my uncle’s
words, “Do be careful! Stand the ground. We should never betray the
Lord Jesus! …” I was in a great dilemma, not knowing what to do.
So I cried with tears, “Enough! Stop it! I don’t want to read it!
You believe in yours and I believe in mine. Let’s not interfere
with each other…” Hearing my words, my mother knelt on the floor
and prayed in bitter tears, “O Almighty God! I have received such a
great grace from You, but I can’t testify You. I’m really
useless. I’m too ignorant and have hindered Your work. God! Please
enlighten my daughter, so that she can understand Your eagerness of
saving man and not be deceived by rumors anymore…” However, my
mother’s earnest words didn’t move my numb and hardened heart. I
watched her crying bitterly there with cold eyes, and even
heartlessly took it as Satan’s scheme. I thought to myself, “What
other trick do you have? Just play it! …” In the end, I could no
longer bear listening to any of her advice, and only wanted to escape
from there. Just when I turned around and was about to leave, my
mother stood up and took hold of me, asking me not to leave. But I
refused to hear anything. I flung her hands off and opened the door
and ran out. “Child, come back! Listen to me…” My mother’s
cries kept resounding in my ears… I wandered aimlessly, tears
flowing down my cheek incessantly. I kept asking myself, “Why? Why
is it so hard to believe in the Lord? Must my mother and I become
enemies? …”
After
walking around outside for a while, I went back home. I saw that my
mother’s eyes were red, her voice became hoarse, and there were
blisters on her lips. I couldn’t control my tears, and I covered my
head with the quilt, and cried loudly. Distress, confusion, and
despair welled up in my heart. I cried to the Lord, “Lord! I don’t
want to leave You, and even less do I want to betray You. But You
know I don’t have the ability to discern. You said that You would
come again. Is Almighty God my mother preached really You? O Lord!
I’m willing to seek You. If You have really come back, please
enlighten me and give me guidance. I have no strength to struggle and
no longer want to struggle. I’m willing to commit everything into
Your hand…”
In
the afternoon, my mother saw that my attitude changed for the better,
so she asked two brothers to come to testify to me. At that time, I
thought, “Anyway, I must make the matter clear!” One brother
said, “Sister, I know that you feel pain and distress in your
heart. We once experienced this as you do today. If you have anything
you don’t understand, we can fellowship about it together…”
Strangely, when I heard their words, I felt as if they were my
relatives, and I didn’t feel strange to them at all. They were
amiable and ordinary and were not as frightening as what those rumors
said at all. So I put forward the question I was puzzled about all
along: Why don’t you read the Bible anymore? One brother took out
the Bible and showed me Hebrews 8:13, which says, “In that he said,
A new covenant, he has made the first old. Now that which decays and
waxes old is ready to vanish away.” And he also read me Revelation
5:1-5, “And
I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written
within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals. … And one of
the elders said to me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of
Juda, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the book, and to loose
the seven seals thereof.”
Then he asked me, “God has opened the book and revealed all the
mysteries of the Bible to us. Which one should we read, this opened
book or the Bible?” I thought to myself, “Only God can open the
book. Could it be that God has really come and opened the book? Is
the book I wanted to burn the book opened by the lamb? If it is so,
who will still read the Bible?” The brother seemed to read my
thoughts. He opened the book of God’s word and read these words to
me: “You
all need to understand the Bible—it is very necessary that you do
so. Today, you don’t need to read the Bible any longer, for there
is nothing new in it; it’s all outdated. The Bible is a history
book. If during the Age of Grace you were to eat and drink the Old
Testament, practicing the requirements of the Old Testament age, then
Jesus would forsake you, condemn you. If you had tried to impose the
Old Testament on Jesus’ work, you would have been called a
Pharisee. And so today, if you eat and drink and practice the Old and
New Testaments, then the God of today will condemn you; you cannot
keep pace with the work of the Holy Spirit today. If you eat the Old
and New Testaments, then you are one outside the stream of the Holy
Spirit. In Jesus’ day, He led the Jews and all those who followed
Him according to the work of the Holy Spirit in Him. He did not look
to the Bible for evidence, but spoke as His work dictated. He did not
concern Himself with what the Bible said, did not lead His followers
down a path found in the Bible. From the very beginning, He preached
the way of repentance, and the word ‘repentance’ was not
mentioned at all in all the prophecies in the Old Testament. Not only
did He not follow the Bible, He brought forth a new path and did a
new work. He did not make reference to the Bible when He preached,
and the miracles He worked—healing the sick, casting out demons—had
never been performed by men during the Age of Law. No one in the Age
of Law did the work He did, taught those lessons, had that authority.
He simply did His new work, though many people condemned Him, even
crucified Him, by using the Bible. His work went beyond the Old
Testament; if that had not been the case, why would they have nailed
Him to the cross? Was it not because His teachings, His power to cure
the sick and cast out demons, had never been recorded in the Old
Testament? The work of Jesus was to bring forth a new path; He did
not deliberately set out to ‘wage war’ against the Bible or
abolish the Old Testament, but simply performed His ministry,
bringing the new work to those who thirsted for Him and sought Him
out. He was not trying to explain the Old Testament or defend its
work. Carrying on the Age of Law was not His goal, for He did not
care in the least whether His work was grounded in the Bible, but
simply did the job that He needed to do. So He did not attempt to
explain the Old Testament prophecies, did not base His work on words
spoken in the Old Testament Age of Law. He did not concern Himself
with what the Old Testament said, whether it accorded with His own
work, did not care how other people saw His work or condemned His
work. He simply kept on doing the job He needed to do, though many
people condemned Him, invoking the words of the Old Testament
prophets. In people’s eyes His work was not based on a shred of
evidence, and in many ways it ran counter to what was recorded in the
Bible. Were they not grossly in the wrong? Must God’s work obey any
rules? Does He need to follow the words of prophets? Which is
greater, the Bible or God? Why must God’s work be in line with the
Bible? Is it really not within His right to stand above the Bible?
Can He not depart from it and do other work? Why did Jesus and His
disciples not observe the Sabbath? If He was to observe the Sabbath,
to practice the commandments of the Old Testament, then why, after
His coming, did He not observe the Sabbath, but washed others’ feet
and covered His head, broke bread and drank wine? Were these
commandments mentioned in the Old Testament? If Jesus was to adhere
to the Old Testament, why did He break these rules? You must know
which came first, God, or the Bible? As He is the Lord of the
Sabbath, can’t He also be the Lord of the Bible?”
I was greatly enlightened by God’s words, and I understood this:
“God does not work according to the Bible, but speaks according to
His work. God has already come now, and He has opened the book,
expressed new words, and brought new ways outside the Bible.” At
that time, I knew why my mother and those people didn’t read the
Bible. Then the brother said to me, “God has unlocked all the
mysteries in the Bible, and all the truths have been made clear to
us. You will understand everything after you read the book of God’s
word.” So, I agreed to read the book and make an investigation.
Early
next morning, my mother said to me, “Read the book carefully. As
long as you have a seeking heart, God will enlighten you.” So I
began to read the book seriously. I sat there motionless for over
four hours, reading the book in tears. God is really wonderful. When
I read with a seeking heart, all the hindrances in my heart
disappeared. I felt that God was speaking to me, communing with me
like a bosom friend, so kindly and warmly. God says: “No
one who believes in Jesus is qualified to curse or condemn others.
You should all be someone who is rational and accepts the truth.
Perhaps, having heard the way of truth and read the word of life, you
believe that only one in 10,000 of these words are in line with your
convictions and the Bible, and then you should continue to seek in
that 10,000th of these words. I still advise you to be humble, to not
be over-confident, and to not exalt yourself too highly. With your
heart holding such meager reverence for God, you will gain greater
light. If you carefully examine and repeatedly contemplate these
words, you shall understand whether or not they are the truth, and
whether or not they are life. Perhaps, having only read a few
sentences, some people will blindly condemn these words, saying,
‘This is nothing more than some enlightenment of the Holy Spirit,’
or, ‘This is a false Christ come to deceive people.’ Those who
say such things are blinded by ignorance! You understand too little
of the work and wisdom of God, and I advise you to start again from
scratch! You must not blindly condemn the words expressed by God
because of the appearance of false Christs during the last days, and
must not be someone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit because
you fear deception. Would that not be a great pity? If, after much
examination, you still believe that these words are not the truth,
are not the way, and are not the expression of God, then you shall
ultimately be punished, and be without blessings. If you cannot
accept such truth spoken so plainly and so clearly, then are you not
unfit for God’s salvation? Are you not someone who is not fortunate
enough to return before the throne of God? Think about it! Do not be
rash and impetuous, and do not treat belief in God as a game. Think
for the sake of your destination, for the sake of your prospects, for
the sake of your life, and do not play around with yourself. Can you
accept these words?”
After reading God’s words, I felt extremely ashamed. It was clear
that these words were the truths. However, I believed others’
rumors and didn’t seek or investigate but blindly condemned and
jumped to a conclusion. Wasn’t I trifling with my life? I believed
in God yet denied God and even held to the Bible like the Pharisees
of that time, thinking that it was wrong not to read the Bible and it
was forsaking the Lord’s way. I was really too blind and ignorant!
I
also read these words of God: “Are
you aware of the burden you shoulder, your commission, and your
responsibility? Where is your historic sense of mission? How will you
serve as a good master for the next age? Do you have a great sense of
masterhood? … How many people are waiting for you to be their
shepherd? Is your task a heavy one? They are poor, pitiable, blind,
and at a loss, wailing in the darkness, ‘Where is the way?’ …
They have long been sealed off by the ruthless ropes and the history
that is frozen in place. Who has ever heard the sound of their
wailing? Who has ever seen their miserable visage? Have you ever
thought how grieved and anxious God’s heart is? How can He bear to
see the innocent mankind He Himself created suffering such torment?
After all, mankind are the unfortunates that have been poisoned.
Though they have survived to this day, who would have thought that
they have long been poisoned by the evil one? Have you forgotten that
you are one of the victims? Out of your love for God, are you not
willing to strive to save those who have survived? Are you not
willing to use all your effort to repay the God who loves mankind
like His own flesh and blood?”
After reading these words, I thought of what my uncle said,
“Believers in Almighty God have gone astray. They abandoned their
families…” Now, I fully understood why the believers in Almighty
God were willing to give up everything. It was because they were
burdened with the sacred mission to cooperate with God to rescue
souls. Those rumors were purely slanders of the unreasonable people
who were ignorant of the inside story. They were made out of nothing!
We only saw that the believers in Almighty God ran around all day
long, but we never quieted ourselves before God to think about and
seek why they did so and what drove them to run around. Now when I
thought about those rumors again, I realized that they were actually
poorly fabricated, and if I had given them some thought, I could have
discerned them. I really hated myself for having been so foolish and
ignorant that I believed whatever others said and didn’t read God’s
word earlier. I was too stubborn and too hardened in my heart, so
that I missed many opportunities to be saved by God. I was really a
muddlehead without any discernment! At that time, I regretted a lot.
I was ashamed of my yesterday’s ignorance, blushed at my echoing
others’ words, and felt bitterly remorseful for my stubborn
disobedience. I knelt on the floor and prayed in tears, “O Almighty
God! I’ve misunderstood You and grieved Your heart! You are the
Lord Jesus we have been expecting, but I didn’t know You and
thought that my mother had been taken captive by a ‘cult.’
Source: Was I Conquered by the Word of God
Read more:The
brief introduction of the Church of Almighty God, Eastern Lightning
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